Sunflowers: A Portal To Our Loved Ones.
When I came back to England after 3 years of travel and living abroad, one of the first things I did was go to a psychic medium that I had visited a few years back before I left.
Growing up I was actually a strict atheist. Despite my mother being religious, I never entertained the idea of anything else beyond the material and physical world. However, as I got older, my mind began to open. I studied philosophy at university (with politics) and began asking bigger questions. Fast forward a few years and my interest in the metaphysical went beyond the academic context and I started to go on a spiritual journey to not only try to understand but to experience the world in a deeper, more profound way.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to believe in the spiritual world for this to make sense. You may find this story to just be a series of coincidences. Either way, all the events that happened in the lead-up to this piece meant something to me.
Here is the reason why sunflowers to me, are a reminder of my grandma…
Artwork by Ann Stokes
Ok, so my experience with a psychic medium didn't involve a crystal ball and a woman with purple hair wearing velvet. I just thought this painting is gorgeous! haha. If you have never visited one, it’s not always as esoteric and mystical like the media makes out. The lady I went to really changed my mind about them when I visited her for the first time. Let’s just call her Diane. I never sought out a medium, but just heard about her when a client of mine (from an old job) was telling me about her experience with Diane. I decided a few days later to get Diane’s contact and give her a go with a healthy dose of skepticism. Long story short, I got some interesting insights and decided to go back a few years later. I won’t go into too much detail but this is the seed she planted that turned into a series of signs/coincidences. She told me…
“Your grandma is here. She has curly hair and wore glasses. She said she loves it here. All this open space and fresh air!”
You know what I’m going to say… “My grandma had curly hair and wore glasses!” but what struck me more was the open space. She was a city lady through and through. Born and lived most of her life in Hong Kong (one of the most densely populated cities on earth), open space was not an option. Even when she lived in Manchester, she was in the city and that is considerably more open than Hong Kong. It made sense that being in an open space would bring her joy. Diane also said…
"Your grandma loves flowers. She said you don’t treat yourself enough though. She told you to go out and buy yourself some flowers because she is unable to. Just know, that the flowers are from her”
I mean, what lady doesn’t love flowers? I came out of that reading feeling pretty positive but I didn’t put buying flowers on the top of my priority list, which kinda proves her point right that I didn’t treat myself enough. At that time, I was pretty frugal and would only spend money for basic necessities and to build up my business, rarely was I spending money on small luxuries for myself (that’s changed now though, I’m always treating myself! hehe).
A few days passed and I hadn’t given the flowers much thought, apart from the occasional “I will buy myself some flowers when I can be bothered”. Anyway, on this day, I went to Marks & Spencer’s (a supermarket in the UK) and was immediately greeted by the fower section when I walked in. I was instantly drawn to the sunflowers. Something just told me that maybe these are the flowers I need to buy for myself. My mind, however, just brushed it off and assumed that I was drawn to them because they were big and bright, so stingy old me decided not to buy them. Later that night when I went to sleep, I had a dream about my grandma. She came to see me and we were in a park under an arch made of sunflowers. I woke up the next morning trying to make sense of it and came to the conclusion that it was just because I had seen the sunflowers in the supermarket during the day and I thought about her. But then, I opened Instagram on my phone and the very first post I saw was this photo of my friend Julie…
How stunning does she look by the way?! and what do you know? Sunflowers!
I couldn’t believe it! I had to message her and tell her right away. She told me that she was actually choosing between 3-4 different photos and decided to go for this one. The only one that had sunflowers in it. We both believe that there must have been something bigger out there that aided her decision for me to come across it at the time that I did!
But guess what? I still didn’t buy them after this!
So another week had passed with no more obvious signs of sunflowers and then me and my family had Sunday dinner at my mum’s house. My brother and sister were talking about a jumper that they were interested in for the past few days but they wanted them in a different colour to each other. This itself was a coincidence as they had no idea of each other looking at the same thing. When I asked them what it looked like, they showed me this…
Sunflowers, again!
So of course I immediately told my siblings what Diane had told me and the experiences I have had with sunflowers for the past couple of weeks. They were just as touched as I was, especially because sunflowers were not usually their thing, and they both happened to stumble across this jumper and both wanted it at the same time. Next thing you know, they both shouted…
“Erica! Look behind you!”…
Claude Monet - Garden At Vethenil
This has been mounted up in my mum’s dining room for YEARS! Only on this day did we all notice that it’s a garden of sunflowers. Isn’t it crazy how you can see something so many times, but not truly notice it for what it is?
A couple of days later, I visited my dad’s house. What I saw there, positively affirmed everything my intuition had been telling me for the last couple of weeks…
Sunflowers by Van Gogh
When I saw this, old memories that I had totally forgotten about came flooding back. You see, when my grandma passed, my dad kept a few things when her house got sold. This is one of them. I remember she used to have this huge painting in her living room directly above the fireplace. It’s clear as day, that she liked sunflowers! It’s as if she was sending me little signs to buy them and the longer I put it off, the bigger the signs became.
Me being me, I still took my sweet time buying them until I got a knock on the door one afternoon and this is what I got…
A big beautiful bunch of sunflowers!
So of course I had been talking to my friends about my experiences. One of my best friends surprised me and actually bought them. Probably because she knew I would never get round to it haha!
After I received these, I finally stopped getting signs and signals. My grandma made sure they came to me one way or another and her mission was complete. Now, whenever I even see sunflowers, they remind me of her presence and also a symbol of friendship. I wanted to memorialise this and make it into art. I know that sunflowers have been painted over and over again, but to paint these were more than just an aesthetic and so “The Sunflower Series” came to life…
In this post, I say that sunflowers are a portal to our loved ones. But in reality, anything can be. After I shared my story, people from all different backgrounds started to open up about how sunflowers also reminded them of someone who had passed. Not just sunflowers, but other types of flowers and objects. Maybe sunflowers are not a portal to a loved one for you, but I hope this story captures the feeling of connection to somebody special to you that is no longer on the physical plane.
If you have made it this far. I just want to say thank you for reading something that is so personal to me!
Sunflowers (3 part series)
The original paintings are available to purchase individually or as a whole set.
